everytime something like this happens it starts again.
over and over.
its like a fuckin' emotional groundhog day.
its always like this.
its not your fault.
it was always mine.
from the beginning.
thinking that i was ever good enough.
if something is too good to be true, it usually is.
it was.
it still is.
sudden urge to hang myself.
i dont wanna live on like this.
soon.
yeah, maybe.
right.
i'm stuck here.
desperately chasing the memory of a love that no longer exists.

every single tear.
every drop of blood.
everytime i try and numb the pain.
it was worth it.
if only i could do something to live it through again.

i dont know what i'm doing anymore.
i dont know why i'm living.
why am i studying?
why am i alive?
why do i dance?
why do i want cash?
i used to think that i lived for you, and life would be meaningless without you.
now i know what its like to live without a purpose.

sometimes i think i'm past you.
sometimes i think i'm fine.
sometimes i think i can stand alone without you.
happiness lies to me.
its times like this that show me how much i need you.
you're the 1 i think of when i cry.
you're the 1 i think of when i'm lost.
i'm still lost here.
without you.
alone.

i've only knelt down to 1 person ever.
what is dignity in sorrow?
i'd kneel down in the rain if it brought you back.
but we both know its too late for you to change your mind.
feels like i'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Guns N' Roses-
Knockin' On Heaven's Door.

Mama take this badge from me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark too dark to see
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door