i think my life reminds me of sid vicious's.

Him-
zero talent at bass guitar.
was all about style.
fucking alcoholic.
no future.
love that died.
died too young.

Me-
zero talent at bboying.
all about looking good and dreaming of the hip hop lifestyle.
fucking alcoholic.
no future.
love that died.
will probably die by 30 too.

when will i die?
its too far away.
i cant live the bboy lifestyle anymore.
its a way of living, which i cant reach.
im dying soon.
i hope my fucking liver fails asap.
then we'll see how miserably few are the fuckers who even think about offering me a liver transplant.
i cant think of any1 who would go that far for me.

i brought my com today to prac.
offered to burn ppl mixtapes.
no1 wanted anything.
fuck it.
im nt spinning anymore.
im nt TRYING anymore.
its fuckin' BOLLOCKS to know that im trying in vain.
fuck 'em.

it doesn't hurt anymore.
nothing does.
last time when i fell down.
i used to groan and feel pain before i continued training.
even when i tried to break my fall.
now i dont feel anything.
even when i try to NOT break my fall.
why not?
i dont feel it anymore.
maybe the feeling is gone; it just died.
maybe.
i wish i knew.
i wish i knew why im still crying inside.
i know i dont really belong here anymore.
i told them i wont be back.
why am i back?
today i came back to burn them mixtapes.
or so i was supposed to.
i dont know what im doing here.
i ask myself this every week.
i did the same thing last week.
i cant feel pain anymore.
pain was like adrenaline.
it kept me going.
it woke me up and reminded me that i was still human.
am i still human?
maybe i shld go back to 555.5.
the floor's harder there.
and i cant try to stretch until i feel pain.
no1 wants to help me.
even though thats what they all said we're here for.
last night
"a crew is here to help one another."
fuck you guys.
no1 helps ME.
and ervin gave the lousiest reason ever.
"dangerous."
that fucking cunt.

song of the moment.
(yes, im at prac. but the song of the moment isnt hip hop.)

My Way, as sung by Sid Vicious.

Lyrics-
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain (Ha ha ha!)
You cunt, I'm not a queer
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
And each and every highway
And much, much more than this
I did it my way.