Pipe Dreams

i'm now listening to 23456543 different live videos of smells like teen spirit on youtube.
i love that song.
its one of my favourites.

i've had lotsa pipe dreams.
i always wanted to be successful in life.
to make something out of my life and die young, before i get too old.
too old to live, and end up rotting away old and lonely in some nursing home.
yep.
i'll die successful, lonely and young.

sometimes... when i daydream...
i dream of being in a band.
i'd be a drummer.
and i'd be drumming to the greatest metal songs ever.
i'd open for metallica.
either that, or i'd be a bassist.
and i'd play anesthesia (pulling teeth) at woodstock.
i'd be playing the guitar solo from iron man.
dreams.

the dream i'm closest to (but is still probably gonna remain just a dream.)
is BOTY.
battle of the year.
i've around... 5 or 6 years left to try.
seeing the speed at which i'm progressing, unlikely.
maybe 1 day i'll be internationally famous.

right.
and maybe kurt cobain is still alive.

it kinda sucks that so many of the bands i like are defunct.
i'd never have the chance to see them live in concert.
black sabbath? still together, but kinda over the hill.

i really envy people like ozzy osbourne.
they can live on whatever they do.
they're basically paid to do what they love.
they just do what they enjoy and they get the cash.
granted, its not easy to do what they do.
but seriously.
they're fuckin' talented.
and i'm fuckin' not.
so it comes easy as shit to them.

i wonder if i'm really good at much.
i'm definitely not talented as much.
unlike a certain cat-burgler from brum.
honestly?
i'll probably be a salaried middle rung worker until i die.
unfortunately.

oh well.
i suppose pipe dreams are called pipe dreams for a reason.
if u wanna live them for a while, stuff some weed in a pipe bong.
LOL.

oh well.
dream on, fatboy...

Come as you are, by Nirvana.

Come as you are
As you were
As I want you to be
As a friend
As a friend
As a known memory
Take your time
Hurry up
The choice is yours
so don't be late
Take a rest
As a friend
As a known memory

this means only 1 thing to me.
something i've been looking for.
acceptance.