i'm 18.
happy birthday, selwyn.

here's a cake for you to LOOK at.


anyway, no1's wished you happy birthday yet, but fuck it.
you've got me, and i'm the only 1 who really matters.
its stated in the bible, innit?

so cheer up.
12 years left.
hopefully you can beat the clock and be as great as Mustaine.
or even better, Cliff Burton.

stay true to metal, my brother.
happy birthday from yourself.

something happened today which proved me wrong.
i've lost my edge.
whatever happened to my bloodlust?
i'm now just all talk no action.
i've changed a lot since sec 2.
i haven't "stayed hungry".
i'm ashamed of myself.
sometimes people say i'm too nice.
now i'm inclined to agree.

there's 1 line in the satanic bible.
its one of the core teachings, actually.
if someone harasses you, warn them.
if they persist, destroy them.
i failed in it today.
perhaps because i'm not ready enough to undergo that spiritual epiphany i so sorely need?
ah, i need to read the text.
maybe the words of mr LaVey will show me the true path.

guess what's the most important religious holiday in the church of satan?
your birthday.
yep.
for me, that'll be in 25 minutes.

i dont wanna turn 18.
1 year less to live.
increased age means increased responsibility.
and honestly, i'm gonna be disappointed yet again with this year's celebration.
seems like no1's done anything.
despite the fact that they said they would.

honestly, i'm not looking forward to growing older.
i dont wanna drive.
i dont wanna graduate.
i wanna remain as a perpetual 16 year old.
yep.
the joy of innocence is one that is lost on me.

i saw mik that day.
he just finished his o lvls.
he's grown a lot now.
he wants to get into mass com.
honestly, i wish him luck.
he's a smart young man. (yeah, cant call him kid anymore.)
with a bright future.

i've got 2 songs now.
this is:
i'm 18 by Alice Cooper.

I got a
baby's brain and an old man's heart
Took eighteen years to get this far
Don't always know what I'm talkin' about
Feels like I'm livin in the middle of doubt.

and this is:
A Tout Le Monde by Megadeth.

A tout le monde (To all of the world)
A tout mes amis (To all my friends)
Je vous aime (I love you)
Je dois partir (I must leave)
These are the last words
I'll ever speak
And they'll set me free

my birthday's on wednesday.
2 or 3 more days before i turn 18.
i don't really wanna actually.
another year older.
another year of my life gone.
it'd only be around 12 more to go, i suppose.

i'm feeling really down now.
like the world is gonna end and shit.
i get that fucking feeling a lot nowadays.

i wonder how i'll be spending my birthday.
i remember how i spent it last year.
last year it was fucking awesome.
but then again its not how you spend it.
its who you spend it with.
this year the usual bunch of goondus aren't celebrating my birthday with me.
not until the weekend, that is.
maybe they dont understand how important the date itself is to me.

i wonder who'll be there anyway.
some people i miss.
some people i don't.
i really hope fulin, beng and william are there though.
2 of them i'm closer too.
the last is just a riot to be around.
remember the time i shoved him into the fountain at bugis?

oh yeah. whoever is reading this, dont sms me happy birthday.
my phone's down for another week or so.
yeah... so dont sms me.

my birthday this year is probably not gonna be a happy one.

does any1 believe in birthday wishes?
you know... before you blow out your candles you make a wish?
has any1's ever come true?
mine did once, last year.
probably not gonna come true again this year, but just in case...
what should i wish for?

oh yeah.
i'm thinking of moving my blog.
to jumpinthefire.
i think no1 here understands the reference.
i dont think william understans it either, actually.
he's more new school.
its metallica's first single.
from one of the best thrash albums.
kill 'em all.
yes i downloaded that album.
yes i love it.
yes metallica now disappoints me.

so should i?
.
.
.
*silence*

ah fuck that. i dun feel like talking anymore.
i'm kinda wasting my life.

my favourite song.

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this Can t be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he 's gone

damn i'm violent.

Whats Your Fighting Style? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Wrestling The Crowd Cheers As You Pick Up Some Skinny Little Bitch On The Top Rope And Give Him A High Flying Powerbomb Down To The Mat. Wrestling 100% Bar Room Brawler 85% Soldier 65% Boxing 65% Karate 60% Cat Fight 50% Little Girl 20%

and guess what? i just found out something thats FUCKING OBVIOUS and i've already known for like... forever?

Whats your personality? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Loner You like your space...not that theres anything wrong with that. As long as you smile every now and then...you'll be okay Loner 100% Indifferent 85% Dangerous 70% Chill 45% Optimist 30%

here's a short story i wrote for my is module.
the theme is superstition.
i havent written fiction since primary school so i felt a bit awkward writing it.
tell me what you think of it.

“You are bad luck, Kane.” Countless were the times I had heard that phrase. Bad luck. Was that all I was to everyone? The embodiment of ill fortune? Alas! Perhaps I was, nay am, nothing but that. Why, you may ask. Let me regale you with my sorry tale, lifted from the dreary corners of my minds like a dusty tome.

I was born on the 28th of November 1977. My sister, elder by 8 years, remembers the day well. It was a stereotypical stormy night. A blustery one, with sheets of rain and all that. I was, of course, born at home. Right on the kitchen table, to be precise. My family was never rich enough to afford the hospital. Anyway my sister said that the precise moment I was born, a raven flew in the window and landed in front of my mum. She promptly froze and dropped dead. When I was old enough to know anything, my family kept reminding me that I was bad luck. My father eventually went mad. He kept rambling on about some raven haunting him. Shades of Edgar Allen Poe, I suppose. Anyway, he hung himself from a tree when I was 8.

Due to my, shall we put it delicately, unfortunate childhood I never was happy. Also, I began to become convinced that the same raven haunting my father was, too, haunting my life. The raven appeared right before anything bad happened to me. It seemed like some kind of sick opening act to whatever twisted misfortune due to befall me. It seemed that it was… following me. Was it but mere coincidence? Or was it another recurring motif in the perverse tragedy that was my life? It was everywhere. Following my every step. Waiting to herald my doom, perhaps? Was the reaper a droll bird feeding on carrion?

Many more were the times that the dreaded phrase has tormented me. Misfortune seemed to stalk me just like disease plagued Typhoid Mary. My house caught on fire. My sister got raped. But all these mattered naught compared to the most recent misfortune to darken my door.

Not long ago, the raven visited me again. It was, amusingly enough, a day pleasant enough that it seemed nothing could go wrong. The sun kissed my worn cheeks as it cast merry shadows along the furrows in my face. We were strolling along the beach. We being, of course, me and my girlfriend. Yes, the raven had not visited that corner of my life. Yet. On that fateful day, we strolled barefoot along the length of the sandy beach. The heavens were kind, as the weather is not known to be often mild. The skies were clear and a flock of seagulls soared past. There was not a single cloud in the sky. All of a sudden, I heard a screech. It was the sinister cry of a raven. It was to be my girlfriend’s death rattle. A bolt came from the blue. Zeus had sent down a present for us. The gift of death. I blacked out.

Turns out that the bolt of lightning struck down the both of us. We both went into cardiac arrest. While I survived, she did not. If only I were able to die in her place. Why was it that my angel had to leave alone? Why could I not leave with her, to guide her spirit into the afterlife? She is and always will be my beautiful angel, whom I shall never stop loving.


Am I being tested? Like Job was in the bible, perhaps? Or is karma sinking its vicious fangs into my Achilles heel? Admittedly, I have not led the noblest of lives. I am a sinner. Aren’t we all? Do I really deserve to be singled out and branded like my namesake was? I am Kane, not Cain. I don’t deserve to be branded with the mark of the beast and cast out into the wilderness. But yet I have been cast out and forsaken. Shall I not be branded too? Let it be so, then. As I write these words, the branding iron heats up on my stove. Let me be branded with the mark of the animal that has haunted me so. The raven has followed me thus far. Let it be with me always.

The branding iron burns itself into my skin with sweet, delicious agony. I relish the pain as I accept the punishment for which I seem to be marked. I am destined, I suppose, to be eternally punished for crimes I do not know of. Yet, I accept my punishment. My sins should have been grave, for the magnitude of my punishment to be like this. I stab my torso with the branding iron, again and again. My body is marked with crow’s feet. Just like the accursed crow has marked its imprint on my life, time and again.

You have won, my dear nemesis. There you are once more, high up in the rafters. Watching me. Waiting for the inevitable death. Are you the reaper? Whoever you are, it matters little. You have followed me far enough. For 30 years you have stalked me. For 30 years you have cast your dreaded shadow across my path. Every time we meet you bring death into my life. That is to be no more, my deadly acquaintance. This is to be the last time we meet. Today you collect the soul you have waited 30 years for. Mine.

This is to be the end, I suppose. For 30 years I have anticipated this moment. You are bad luck, Kane. You are the embodiment of ill fortune. That is all you are. Let me no longer darken the lives of my contemporaries with my taint of ill fortune then. I tighten the noose around my neck. I stand stoically, face drawn. You will not have the pleasure of claiming your victory with your dirty grasp. I shall deny you that perverse pleasure and die by my own hand. Adieu, world. I bid you all farewell. I shall now kick the chair out from beneath my feet and collapse into eternity.

Milftracker

Posted Oct 31, 2006

A takeoff of pornography's infamous Milf Hunter.

watch this. its bloody funny.
its a parody of a porn site called milf hunter.

guess what i'm now listening to?
the MISFITS!
they're a good punk band with horror themed lyrics. they were a great influence on early metallica.
they play really upbeat catchy tunes...
with extremely violent lyrics.

take a look at the lyrics of the song last caress.
here's the opening verse.

I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesnt matter much to me
As long as its dead

Well I got something to say
I raped your mother today
And it doesnt matter much to me
As long as she spread

yep. i like the lyrics actually.
they remind me of the movie a clockwork orange.
which is btw a very great movie.
its very explicit and violent.
but they use camera speed, angle and background music to make it seem almost comical.
for example when the protagonist (alex) has sex with 2 gals,
they speed up the film and play silly bgm so that its actually quite funny.
any1 want the movie?

christ denied, by deicide.

You're unannounced and you're unobserved
No longer worshipped in his world
Apocalypse on insanity
Self destruction of hypocrisy

jesus christ is dead to me. my gods are heavy metal.
and anyway how many of you can say you've met your god?

i lost my psp.
was too bloody tired and left it in class. anyway, cheer up selwyn!
(i suppose)

check this vid!



manowar fans are so inspirational.
that dude was blind, and yet he pushed his way to the front just for manowar.
he cant even see yet he still headbangs along to a band.
manowar isnt the greatest band in the world.
but they're certainly the most inspirational.

carry on, by manowar.

Carry on, my sons forever.
Carry on, when I am gone.
Carry on, when the day is long.
Forever carry on.
For as long as we're together
Then forever carry on

william!
your blog is dead!
do this!

can you mosh and be good at it? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as yeah, you're a good mosher moshing is your secret specialty. yeah, you're a good mosher 85% no. you cant mosh for crap. 13%

its metal-fish!
run to the GILLS!

yeah anyway.
its 2 more weeks to my birthday.
i wanted to get every1 to skip school to go have fun all day long but fulin din want to.
he'll be in thailand anyway.
so i suppose the rest of the guys wont skip school either.
ah fuck them.

they're celebrating on saturday instead i suppose.
i wonder who i'll be asking.
fulin, definitely.
william, definitely.
ccl, definitely.
nod, definitely.
cm?
yuxuan?
fabian?
wilson?

anyway, on the day itself i'll ask along my poly frens, probably.
whoever is willing to skip school.
it'll be my day.
i'll do whatever I want, and whoever pisses me off is fucked.
no, i'm only like this on my birthday.
i treat my birthday very seriously.
its MY day.

anyway... i wonder what i should do then.
i'm probably not gonna remember it anyway.
i'll be so damn drunk i'll be puking all over the place.
i'll be doing whatever i want and fuck the consequences.

oh yeah.
candice and han fen offered to get HAHA! tattooed all over my forearm as a birthday present.
its fucking hilarious, but duh i'm not doing it.
lol maybe 1 day i'll be cool enough to do tattoos like kerry king's.

i'm getting my bass on my birhday btw.
i camped over at bruce's that day for mrm.
i hate susanne chan btw.
and i fiddled with his bass.
i still have no idea what to do with 1.
but i can play the intro of smoke on the water.
lol.

it seems like a fucking tradition, innit?
get guitar.
learn smoke on the water.
learn stairway.
learn freebird and choke on the solo.
OD or choke on your puke and die young.
recipe for being a legend.
honestly, die young=legend.
look at it.
janis joplin.
jimi hendrix.
kurt cobain.
jim morrison.
dead (black metal vocalist from mayhem)

come to think of it, how many people from this list do you know, anyway.
its kinda stupid to write in a form of a conversation to you when you dont know what i'm talking about.
maybe i should start writing stuff in the form of a conversation with myself.

"hello, me.
meet the real me.
in my misfit's way of life."

right.
i wonder how many people got that joke anyway.

sometimes i feel my humour is lost in translation.
even when i make references to songs that are so famous that they're LEGEND.
(and that was a reference to a bob marley album, btw.)

i mean.
rmb the clip of the simpsons?
the church was tricked into singing in a gadda da vida by bart.
the pianist played until she dropped dead.
no1 i knew got the joke.
anyway, in a gadda da vida is a very famous psychedelic song with a distinctive bass intro.
which has been stolen by nas twice, actually.
its famous for being so long, actually.
its so long so the joke was the pianist played the lengthy organ solo and dropped dead from exhaustion.

yeah anyway.
i now think that my hair looks like bruce dickinson's after he cut his hair.
that's a bad thing, methinks.
he used to look like this.




he looked more classic metal, actually.

now his hair looks like this.



he still is my god, but he looks slightly retarded.
like me, i suppose?
ah well.

anyway harder keeps bugging for me to sign up for facebook anyway.
what's the fucking fantastic deal about it?
its just another social network, innit?
i'd join if they had an anti poser detector.
it'll scan your itunes for any cringe-worthy crap and if any is found you'll be banned.
which reminds me of something i still dont understand.
idk if its wilson or ervin.
keeps itunes in his com yet leaves it empty.
doesnt really listen to music 24 7 like me, i suppose.

anyway watch this.



dave grohl (foo fighters, and formerly nirvana).
he's doing it on purpose, of course.
its fucking hilarious.
especially his "solo".
and listen to stairway btw.
the lyrics are beautiful.

oh yeah and guess what happened.
my mum came into my room.
picked up my copper's uniform.
her: "What are you gonna do with this?"
me "dunno yet"
her: "don't do anything with it. my client's a police inspector"
me: "why not?"
her: "i'll destroy you."

i obviously got really pissed, so here's exactly what i said.
"no you fucking wont. you cant fucking destroy me. i'll fucking kill you."

and no, i wasn't being exceptionally rude.
i talk like that all the time.
anyway if she tampers with my copper's Robe Of Shame™ i swear i'll slaughter her.
i'm being serious.
i'll literally life her up and throttle her within an inch of her life.

fuck it.
i'm pissed and i have work to do anyway.

oh yeah. she just came in again.
i told her:
don't threaten to destroy me. if you do that again, i WILL destroy YOU. i don't like it.
and the lil' bitch turned off the modem.
fuck her.

Hollow years, by dream theatre.

Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand

oh yeah. i just HAD to dig up the vid for this.
its not very metal.
its kinda poppy actually.
but still, its fucking AMAZING.
now who says i cant listen to slower music?

you know, its weird how life is some days.
sometimes you don't know where to go, and you wander around aimlessly.
you know very well that you don't wanna be there.
but you definitely don't know where else to go either.
so you just meander like some drunk bastard.

anyway.
i was supposed to slam the HORDES of little girls who literally queued all around bugis for some pop star thingy.
turns out not even the full band was there. just 1 guy.

its bloody sad that so many artistes with actual TALENT can remain so unknown in singapore while 1 pretty boy without much talent can get hordes of easily impressionable little gals yapping at his heels. i wonder how many singaporeans have heard of... say... lemmy. (william if you don't know i'm kinda ashamed.)

the culture just seems to emphasize marketability over actual talent.
if dio were to audition for singapore idol he probably wouldn't make it.
but we all bloody know dio's a bloody good singer. he's a short-as-fuck (165) old (65) grandfather of twins. and he's still metal enough.

anyway i feel like i'm beating a dead horse here.
honestly, even if all the counter cultures in singapore rose up against the ah lians and xiao mei meis in the mainstream, in the end it'd still be the same.
the ah lians and xiao mei meis with act rEbEl W0rZz and start listening to metal and all.
personally, i'd be ashamed to mosh with them.
i'd rather collapse and die, gasping for breath in a pit rather than mosh alongside them.

anyway.
this seems familiar again.
its emo-wyn all over again.
its bloody depressingly familiar, innit?
ah well.
since its so bloody familiar, i can kinda say what's gonna happen next, eh?
change of focus in life i suppose.
william hurry up and get an electric.
i'm getting my bass on my birthday.
then maybe i can drop out and be a washed up mat rock 20 years down the road.
maybe i'll choke on my puke or OD or something like that instead though.
like jimi hendrix leh!

honestly, there's something in common with travis barker and jason newsted.
they both gave up stuff in life for the love of the music.
travis gave up whatever other job prospects he could have to play skate-punk.
jason newsted?
he gave up the thing most people would think the most important.
family.
instead of starting a family, he dedicated his life to music.
if only i could do that.
drop my studies and bum around fiddling with an axe for the rest of my life.
until i catch the bus.
sound familiar?
i was saying the same a year or so ago.
not really, actually.
more than a year.
but now, just maybe.
i know what to move onto.
or do i?
everything is hard when you're alone.
sometimes there are people who i can relate to.
sometimes not.
sometimes i think i can, but i'm dead wrong.
we'll see what comes now.
will i be the bassface or just another wasted assface?

In The Name Of Tragedy, by Motorhead.

Live it up, live it down til we hit the ground,
Cop a rude attitude from the world around,
Shall we see, shall we disagree,
Sing it all In The Name of Tragedy.

i'm bored in lecture again...
i'm in feature writing now.
i got sng poh yoke this sem, who i don't really like as much.
koh joh ting was more...
laid back.
i enjoyed her lessons more, actually.
yeah so now i'm rotting in lecture behind my laptop.
wondering if i should play dota.
surprisingl, i can stone for hours if i'm listening to songs i like.
but i cant sit still for 3 minutes listening to crap music, or no music.
oh yeah, and i'm bloody pissed with my mum.
in the car this morning she just randomly started blasting gold 90.5 for god knows what reason.
i may play my music loudly, but there's a huge difference.
HEADPHONES.
honestly, if she wants to listen to her pop radio crap go ahead, but make sure i cant hear it.
especially if she blasts so loudly that i can hear it even when i'm listening to music.
and honestly, she's listening to crappy music.
thats just what i feel, but honestly.
her music's so bloody cheerful that its blissfully ignorant.
she listens to stuff like that bloody san francisco song.
let's compare some lyrics, shall we?

HER POP RADIO DRIVEL:
If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there

MY AWESOME 1337SAUCE METAL (LOL)
Tearing the flesh
Of the weak and the child
Sparing no one
The meek and the mild
I sink my fangs in your
Neck as you dream

personally, i prefer my venom.
they cant play for nuts, they sound really raw.
but that's the exact point.
and they've got awesome-er lyrics anyway.

Fear of the dark, by Iron Maiden.

Have you ever been alone at night,
Thought you heard footsteps behind.
And turned around and no one's there?
And as you quicken up your pace
You find it hard to look again
Because youre sure there's someone there

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someones always near.

So Much Metal... So Little Time!

it sucks that we have only 25 hours a day.
there's so many great bands...
and there's so much more metal to slowly explore.
its like being a kid in a candy store.
i don't know where to start...
i literally have over a hundred songs i haven't played before.
not all of them are new.
most of them... i simply haven't the time to listen to them.
rammstein's latest bootleg.
not touched at all.
exodus's latest album.
only briefly skimmed through.
so much metal.
so little life.
so many more bands yet to be worshipped.
kreator.
bolt thrower.
cannibal corpse.
testament.
anthrax.

one day. i'll be a true connoseiur of metal.
one day.

black sabbath, by black sabbbath. from the album black sabbath.

Is it the end, my friend?
Satan's coming 'round the bend
people running 'cause they're scared
The people better go and beware
No, no, please, no

A real 'metal genre' quiz created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Old School Heavy Metal You are into Classic heavy metal. For you, Death and Black metal is nothing compared to bands like Venom, Motorhead and Iron Maiden. You are cool! Old School Heavy Metal 85% Black Metaller 80% Thrash Metaller 75% Death Metal 70% Metal Troll 55% Stoner 50% Nu Metal/Metalcore 45% Power/Prog Metal 45% Grindcore 40% Glam Metal 20%

william do this!
and yeah, this is 1 quiz i agree with.
sabbath. maiden. priest.
my gods.
my holy trinity, of sorts.

guess what i did on helloween that day?
i dressed as gib.
gib's a really nerdy guy from my cohort.
he's a really nice guy, so i wasn't making fun of him.
ah fuck it.
i stole the pic from shanice's blog.
hence the editing.
i'd be too lazy to do so.
and i am NOT a rebel.



he's famous for wearing that pink polo tee, kinda.
its his good luck thing.

i'm listening to overkill now.
its fucking sweet.
its kinda melodic-esque thrash.
like songs from MoP.
KeA is more straight out thrash.
less produced...
oh yeah, i'm doing a script writing project on the first three albums.
i dunno if i should write on the albums or early history of the band.
(metallica kinda died after cliff. black album was decent, but everything went downhill after that.)
personally i'm praying for kill 'em all part too.
a return to their roots.
whip my ass and call me a bitch, but i actuually think kill 'em all is better than master of puppets.

anyway...
i just realised my com's bloody packed.
i've got...
5.2 gigs of songs in my iTunes.
that's 1039 songs.
3.3 days of music.
i've got lotsa songs.
lemme see what complete albums i have...

Train Of Thought, Dream Theater
The Atrocity Exhibition... Exhibit A, Exodus
half of Keeper of the seven keys, parts 1 2 and the legacy. by helloween.
3/4 of Eat Me, Drink Me, Marilyn Manson
half of Holy Wood, Marilyn Manson
United Abominations, Megadeth
half of Greatest Hits: Back to the Start, Megadeth.
..And Justice For All, Metallica
Garage Inc., Metallica
Kill 'Em All, Metallica.
Master Of Puppets, Metallica.
Ride The lighting, Metallica
Cowboys From Hell, Pantera.
Operation: Mindcrime II, Queensr¥che
Kein Engel, Rammstein
half of (can only find half) Never Mind The Bollocks...Here's The Sex Pistols, by the sex pistols (duh)

the rest is just random stuff.
which makes up a lot.
hence, i shall start deleting stuff that is starting to suck.
must make room for the stuff i'm currently downloading.
1 movie and a 4 cd boxed set.

oh yeah.
i founded a cop's uniform last night.
just the top.
am planning to spray some stuff on the back.
maybe...
cops are cunts.
or...
fuck the law.
idk...
niwae.
these are some pics i wanted to post, but was always too fucking lazy.



that's my new masks (i made them myself. i think it looks fucking sweet.),
my new knife (only... 8 bucks? found this shop in beach road. if i could afford it i'll by the fucking shop.)
and a collar i bought. it isnt a collar sold in some atas shop for fuckheads, sluts and posers to wear. its 6 bucks from a pet shop. and i think its better quality leather anyway.

this another view of the masks.



nice, eh?
the strings on the cheeks are supposed to represent a chelsea smile stitched back together.
maybe i'll do hat someday.
hmm?
its certainly possible.
i could use surface bars and fasten them reversed instead...

oh yeah.
i went to the pharmacy that day, and checked needle sizes.
they've got ga 23 and 26.
apparently i asked a shop and they use 1.6 (i'm assuming its mm)
which would be equivalent to either ga 14 or 16.5.
not nearly big enough, i suppose?
fuck it.
i think i'll just expand.
oh yeah.
i'm referring to snakebites, btw.
every1 tells me not to get it.
they say it'll look horrible.
not nice.
looks overdone.
guess what?
i used to think of it as a reason to NOT get it.
but guess what?
no matter what i do there'll be people saying this kinda shit.
they think i'm a satan worshipper because i wear a motorhead t shirt.
which isn't even black or death, btw.
so it doesnt really matter, anyway.
nothing does, really.

lol.
i wonder what's next?
when you try out this kinda stuff you just kinda become addicted to it.
kinda.
maybe next i'll do my cheeks.
and get dimples, i suppose.
or maybe i'll make it like gg allin and do this.



diy ftw, eh?
there's a kinda pride in doing it yourself.
you can fork out cash and get a pro in doing it for you.
nadia did that.
she paid 65 for her monroe.
or you can learn how to do it yourself.
and when people ask you how much you paid, you can smile and tell them with pride.
"i'm not a bitch for the blatant commercialism we have in life. i did it myself and saved over something like 20 bucks."

fuck you all.

oh yeah.
when people say bleach, what do you think of first?
the CARTOON or the nirvana album?
when people say cc, what do you think of?
counter clockwise, or cannibal corpse.
when people say dance, do you think moshpit or hip hop?
when people say metal do you think of linkin park or bathory?
when people say exodus do you think of the book in the bible or the thrash band?
when people say halloween do you think of the band helloween or the kids festival on october 31st?
when people say cowboys do you instinctively say from hell?
when people say jesus saves do you think church or slayer?
when people say windmill do you think b-boy or headbanging?

this is...
PULLHARDERONTHESTRINGSOFYOURMARTYR!

The face. and the lips. tremble. as it rips.
Your breath. quickening as heat. rushes in.

Pull. harder. strings. martyr.
Stop. you cry. that's a lie
Flush. gasping. white. reddening.
You smile. and destroy it. it's time. that we end this.