inspired by sheereen's ranting on a pastor who called her up and tried to bring her to church, i too have decided to pen down my thoughts on this topic in general, provocative as they may be.

firstly, i don't like the evangelistic ways of most christians.
they care more about beefing up the size of their congregation than the welfare and spiritual growth of their followers in general.
also, they are notoriously pushy when it comes to converting people and bringing them to church, even for a visit.
i dont like this.
i feel that religion is a matter of personal choice.
what religion you follow, or even to have one, is an entirely personal decision.
there is, as said by the Qur'An, no compulsion in religion. (Sûrah al-Baqarah: 256)
there is an excellent article on this topic, from the musli perspective, here.
http://islamtoday.com/showme2.cfm?cat_id=29&sub_cat_id=607&CFID=31319833&CFTOKEN=13715296
i feel that this includes the pestering and non-stop irritance in general from the evangelistic.
while i appreciate their efforts and am more than willing to engage in theological discussions with them, i believe that have the right to say no. they cant FORCE me to acccept their beliefs.

secondly, i am no stranger to christianity.
i , as many of my friends know, used to go to church.
as a matter of fact, i was a member for 4 years.
furthermore, i was from birth, a christian.
though i was at times non-practising, i knew intimately the christian religion in general.
while i may not be able to quote bible verses anymore,
(with the exception of the KJV version of Revelations 13: 18)
i am familiar with the general events of the bible.
indeed, too much knowledge induced the disillusionment partially responsible for me leaving church.
the bible is riddled with inconsistencies.
over the years,
multiple transalations coupled with omitted non-canonical books such as the acrophyca and dispocrypha (sic?)
have perverted the intents and ideas in the bible more than, probably, the disney interpretation has preverted the tale of Aladdin.

Often, pastors have acted evasively when comfronted with theological questions that are beyond them.
is the face of christianity evasive and sneaky?
indeed
"Paganism is wholesome because it faces the facts of life." - The Confessions of Aleister Crowley, ch. 8

Furthermore, the moral "rules" of christianity are hazy. Many faithful christians may unknowingly commit transgressions.
anyway the moral standards of christianity are to some extent, archaic.
"Ordinary morality is only for ordinary people." - The Confessions of Aleister Crowley, ch. 22
while i agree with much of the established ten commandments such as not to kill,
i feel that they have, to me,
weighed, measured and found wanting. (Daniel 5: 27)
not that they are too high for me.
the ten commandments are actually quite sensible.
where they fail is entirely different.
they fail to EXPLAIN thier commandments.
also, there are many social "rules" and norms in churches not adressed directly.
for example, at the churches i went to, piercings were expressedly forbidden, for reasons never explained to me
i refused to abide by these rules, for they were never explained to me.

it didnt matter though... i was akin to a social pariah there.
for reasons unknown to me, i never "fit in" there.
no matter how hard i tried i just felt left out.
looking back, it was probably due to social differences.
i came from... a different background?
or maybe there is just no room in the kingdom of heaven for firebrands.
mind you, its not like i never tried.
once the church decided to do nothing but play on instead of having normal sermons.
i kinda enjoyed it.
i looked different though...
i was the only one with big hair and black metal shirts...
and when every1 pointed their index fingers, i instinctively pointed the calf sign and stuck out my tongue.
when every1 jumped up and down neatly, i started headbanging wildly from the waist.
i didnt notice when every1 gave me weird stares.
i suppose churches are slaves to conformity, having no place for those who dont fit THEIR mold.
well...
I don't wanna waste my time
Become another casualty of society
I'll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down (Sum 41, Fat Lip)
from what i've experienced churches only welcome clean-shaven clean-living people who listen mainly to christian music.
not me.
not crazy munkys who have
NO FUTURE!!!!!11!!ONE!!ELEVEN!

I will no longer be oppressed by the fascism of Christianity, and I will no longer be oppressed by the fascism of beauty. As I see you all out there trying your hardest not to be ugly, trying your hardest to fit in, trying your hardest to earn your way into Heaven, let me ask you: Do you want to be in a place that's filled with a bunch of ASSHOLES?
(Marilyn Manson, 4th september 1997)

hey. if i'll never fit in a church, y bother trying?
i'll never be your nice, smiling smiling with cookie-cutter looks.
i KNOW i'll never fit in.
i've given up trying to be what you want me to be.

lastly, i dont like what church does to people.
one of my best friens, chit ming, is becoming INCREDILBLY distant from us nowadays.
he recently converted to christianity.
i dont have a issue with his beliefs.
as i have said, its an entirely personal choice.
the problem is that he has, as a result, been abandoning us for church.
he dropped out of san da.
totally.
and i heard he also dropped out of wushu and lion dance.
and he also doesnt even talk to us much anymore, let alone see us.
its kinda depressing.
he was actually given the chance to be in the san da national team.
he didnt take it.
its so infuriating.
it was there for him. he could have taken it.
and i dont get it no matter how much i want it.
if this is what christianity does to you i'd like to KILL each and every motherfucking christian who even TALKS to ANY of my friends.
because of christianity i have lost 1 brother.
because of christianity i have 1 less drinking buddy.
what happened to the "corrupted monk" who laughed with us when i told ribald jokes?
where is the "corrupted monk" who talked with us over bottles of baron? (or as i called it, bah-lon)
where is the "corrupted monk with which i watched the world cup?
i miss him.
apparently he's perpetually busy now.
one day we'll all stop trying.
apparently jesus is a 24/7 active commitment.
i dont have a problem with him being christian.
i just dont like the way he handles it.
we've known each other for nearly 5 years now.
surely that amounts to something.
he's one of the few people in my (mostly elitist, snobbish and arrogant) sec 1 class that i actually like as well as talk to.
lemme count...
hmm...
there's him...
eboy...
zen...
fulin (no weird nic name)...
and...
no1 else, i think.
the rest i mostly dont like.
i think they're fucking arrogant and elitist, besides others.
and in the end most of sec 4 humility has ZERO humility.
with the exception of zen i can probably safely say that they are more elitist than is healthy.
they socialise solely with people from the first 2 classes.
i'd like to single out zoe's clique here.
not only are they exclusive, they are also elitist.
other people are different.
zen? he hangs with all sorts of people.
from people in his class all the way to people in my class, at least.
well...
no offense (i think?)
but a certain lil' bitch epitomises what i despise most.
arrogant lil' richie bitch church brat who's fucking elitist and refuses to associate with lesser mortals...
well, bitch.
what does it feel like being one of the beautiful people?
fuck you.
fuck your religion.
we will never be reined in by the fascism of your religious dogma.

christianity is a religion for losers.
no serious.
no offense.
christianity offers hope.
thus, it appeals to the down and out.
it draws in people who have no hope in living.
it gives them a sense of direction.
as karl marx famously said, religion is the opiate of the masses.
the destitute place faith in meaningless little rituals which promise so much, yet give so little.
it is no surprise that the ranks of churches swell in times of hardship?
it would be interesting to know the if their coffers swell correspondingly.

isnt that what church about?
passing the collection plate?
getting more offerings?
what a meaningless parody of real life.
all this talk about love for all?
they're fucking talking bollocks.
if they love every1 so much why dont they care?
they probably didnt even notice when i dropped out of church.
they didnt even call to ask me why i didnt go.
sometimes i dont know why i tried in the first place.
thats why i dont try any more.
I dont wanna be just like you.
i dont want any of your conformity.
i'd sooner conform to nazi ideology and kill myself then conform to your fascism.
you'll never see me smiling and doing what you want.
i'll never be a pawn in this miserable black hole of an existence that we call life.
specifically, i'll never be YOUR pawn.

kill you later, christian haters...
its 3 am, bitches.
i need to catch my ZZZs.
btw, 1588 words.
lols.
meh.