Goodbye, strangerS.

after the chalet i also got a different view point.
yep, i'm affecting the crew.
we all are. especially you.
especially when you're grooming acolytes all over the place.
notice the new guys are all heading off in the same direction as you?
you're their bloody role model, innit?

maybe i have an analytical point of view.
maybe thats not a good thing.
maybe its a bad thing that i actually think.
it makes life so much more complicated.
all i know is that i'd rather be like this than a shallow conformist like YOU and more or less every1 you hang with.

and yeah, i never learn my lessons.
and i have absolutely no regard to consequences.
if i did i'd be living in fear.
its kinda boring to keep thinking what if, you know.

and to the exploding pit, if some1's injured i would still have laughed.
if the injury's just superficial like cuts or anything like that i still would've laughed.
and anyway you talk like i dont bloody know what im talking abt, innit?
i got caught in a gas explosion b4.
i got burnt, i learnt my lesson.
think before playing.
the bbq pit was in such an open area.
it was highly unlikely that any explosion would've done much damage.

and anyway, yeah. peter got fined. big fuck.
i would've paid too if he mentioned it.
i dont mind splitting the cost.
instead of him acting big and paying all
THEN griping about it and sulking like a OVERGROWN KID.
i used to be nice to him.
not anymore.

u think i should stop bboyin. i think you're right.
so i guess this is buh-bye.
not a sorry 1 either.
what's my niche area in the crew?
nothing.
im the guy who falls nicely.
and yeah, as for suicides?
i grasped it initially.
but after a while my falls grew softer.
less audible.
so yeah, i kinda lost it.
to put it that way, i kinda lost it.

oh yah.
as for sparring?
didnt sum1 fall down when kicking me?
honestly, i could take you if i managed to get close.
you'd be dead.
you all only thought within the rules.
im nt another fucking sheep.
wen fu always scolded me for thinking outside the rules.
i nv thought of sparring in a san shou context.
i approached it mentally in a mma context.
you know it.
every1 does.
san shou rules favour strikers.
mma rules would've favoured me.
which is why i enjoyed training with ed, don and the other guy who carried me with 1 arm.

oh yeah.
you're not without your faults either.
you cant stick to stuff.
you give up halfway.
thats why im going back to train and ur not.

where do i go now?
where i've always belonged.
heavy. fuckin'. metal.
let's go, willie.
forever carry on.

Carry On, by Manowar

Carry on, my sons forever
Carry on, when I am gone
Carry on, when the day is long
Forever carry on
For as long as we're together
Then forever carry on.